If pain were a bucket,
You'd be the largest one,
Pouring your trauma out like a faucet
Unto those who show you love
You're like a raging storm,
Leaving destruction in its wake
With thunderous words filled with hate
Yet still, I saw in you the potential to create
When you saw yourself as someone who should have never been born

In you, I saw a light like no other,
That shine, I tried to nurture
Through all your darkness
While ignoring my own abyss
You pulled me close,
giving me false hopes
Of a future but a future without you is not one I thought I would live
My heart now beats to a tune
Without rhythm or fume

I loved you,
With all I could manage
But you threw me away like garbage,
Making room for someone new
She wouldn't care for you like I do,
To her, you're just a thing to pass the time
A puppet to control and fool
What did I ever do
To deserve you leaving me the way you did?

You're a coward,
Couldn't even say to my face that we were over
You're a liar,
Said you still loved but now I know you had never
It shot through me like a bullet
Piercing all I know of us
As I retrieve what's left trying to understand
How I fell for a man who never existed
Is it really that easy to gain my trust?

I'm lost,
Left to pick up the pieces of a heart I never broke
While you pretend like we couldn't work
But we both know it should've been us,
Now, your face dances with my demons
Where they once chased them away
Forcing me to think of you every day
When all I want is my freedom from our past
That still haunts me

So, If I could put a name
To my bucket of pain
I'd choose yours,
But unlike you
I wouldn't let it pour into another
Spreading more hurt and disdain
Your cycle ends with me.

If my pain were a bucket,
I would pour it behind me.