I often stop to think about where you might be.
I stare into space and wonder about how we buried our dreams without saying a word.
And when the came and you said you were moving, I made sure to leave you first.
It's the insecurity of enjoying life alone that guts me to my core and rattles me deeper than bone.

I can't say I don't think about us 5 years ago.
Drunk under the stars with your arm as my pillow.
It wouldn't be true to say you didn't treat me right.
But it wouldn't be false if I said that sometimes when I was with you, I felt colder than winter's driest nights.

I've procrastinated texts and unhappy nothing was said.
You didn't reach out and it hurt.
You were willing to do whatever it took and we could've defied distance.
I kick myself every time I remember how I didn't listen.
I would kill to hear your voice how we laughed over the phone.
How we stayed up til one pretending like we didn't have plans for tomorrow.

Forever will I be grateful for all the love that you showed me.
You brought me up and out of depression when we were only fourteen.
I lay in bed tonight thinking about how far it is to drive.
What's a little road trip of a consecutive 3 days and 2 nights?
I think the part I hate myself for the most is that i know if I were to show up, I'd be greeted by a stranger while the you I love remains a ghost.



Tuesday 25 February 2025