Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love,
My mind is numb and my heart is broken,
To you I am a stranger, to me you are the only love of my life,
The girl of my dream in my dreams,
You have become my daily routine, my dose,
I'll let my mind be consumed by what it desires the most,
Have I ever crossed your mind?
Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love.
It's crazy how
sadness is painful.
As I'm feeling it now,
It's more than just my soul.
Did I do this to myself?
Are you the cause?
Could it be something else?
Or nothing at all?
......
He was like this cloud that I can now see through
And on the other side I see you
Until you too turn into smoke
Another bloke, once more enshroud
Is it spring?
Is it only my mere desire
To be in love?
What will it bring?
Another sting to get rid of ...
......
A heart of ice, a heart of stone,
Once warmed by love, once not alone;
Once soft as clay, once light as breath,
Now hard as rock, now cold as death.
A heart of stone I know is breaking;
Every breath doesn't seem worth taking.
A heart of ice in one blow shatters,
Convinced nothing at all in this wold matters.
......
We are told to never judge books by their covers, but what if I blushed for your dust jacket and stayed for your script? I read you until your binding was just as beautiful as the coat she hard-cover slipped around your spine.
I hardly read the novel's acknowledgments, but I should've figured there was a reason her name emerged twice in the dedications. I forgot that your seemingly perfect pages had been red ink-stained by her fingertips, she was your editor and I was simply a girl marveling at your words.
All of your punctuation was carefully orchestrated, and I wondered if she excised the spaces in your dialogues, crossed out your fumblings, your stuttering, her thumb and forefinger leaving spit prints like stamps as she flipped through your raw material.
I’ve only read the finished product.
Did she weep over your pages? The water damage left rippling scars on your paper. So when I’m leafing through the whole of you, all I can see are the ever-aching remnants of her touch.
She left eraser crumbs in your gutters, and you didn’t mind that her fingers excavated your contents, removed your run-on sentences until you spoke in the soliloquies every lover wants to hear. Sometimes I wonder which words are yours, and which ones she fixed.
......
Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love,
My mind is numb and my heart is broken,
To you I am a stranger, to me you are the only love of my life,
The girl of my dream in my dreams,
You have become my daily routine, my dose,
I'll let my mind be consumed by what it desires the most,
Have I ever crossed your mind?
Oh, cut me loose from these chains of love.
Unfound love,
fills my heart
swells four chambers
spills from fractures
Puddles pile high
depths greater than my soul.
Rivulets of longing
shatter self reflection
......
The feeling lingers
A paper cut between the fingers
We both know that it's over
But I think we're over thinkers
This ground that we're breaking
Sometimes feels like we're mistaking
This pain we feel, for love
But then it's love that we are making
We are one under the sheets
But then lay shattered in the streets
......
Seasons changed, and my perfume did too.
As September turns into October, I remember who I was without you
Sweet vanilla turned into dark cherry
Pinks and blues turned into burgundy and navy
The remembrance of you is fond, sweet like summer
All we needed was summer; you weren't made to know me in the winter
Your vision of me should stay soft and warm
August left, and you did too.
......
Dear diary, 09/03/2024 ~Lacy~
Today I walked into class.
My hands were shaking and palms sweaty.
I don’t know these people.
what if I do somthing stupid.
what if they hate me.
what if i’m ugly.
I sat down in an empty chair and pulled out my workbook.
......