These songs used to make me cry. I’d listen to cry. To feel. They’ve lost that effect. They’ve taken all my tears. Do you ever listen? Do you ever cry. Do you associate me and us with those songs. Do certain moment replay in your head. Do you freeze, do you break, do you burn. Or have you paved over those memories with new ones. Do you change the station, or listen, to feel. Or has the numbness kept you silent, sitting with a straight face, without a second thought.
Continue reading
does knowing me more lead to loving me less?
each word that i whisper feels like a confession,
each layer i peel leaves me brittle, exposed,
as if love were a wound that i’ve over-disclosed.
i watch as your eyes, once soft as the dusk,
harden like mirrors, reflecting my rust.
the crows in my chest take flight without warning,
their wings beat a dirge for a love that’s still mourning.
......
There was once a boy who promise me pure affection
With love and happiness that become a poison
The smile that he gave now become a drop of a tear
A cry of endless that no one can hear.
There was once a girl who taught me how to love
But with scourging fate she flew like a dove
With all my heart i know she’s the one
But as time pass by she treated me as no one.
......
I realize my mistakes,
I confess my sins.
Still i receive unfairness,
I guess your heart is made of tin.
Walking along a path,
A long deep and dark lane.
Through the sleepless cold nights,
Oh, this never ending pain.
......
Till today I don’t understand Love, I really don’t get it.
Like how does it work?
You meet someone and you just... ”Fall In Love” ?
Sounds like make believe
Oh the Relieve,
To fall and not care,
Moving, not knowing what’s there.
These days people give so little and get so much,
Well I’ve never felt such,
And I hope I’ll never.
......
A thousand and thirty days,
Since I first felt that spark—
The butterflies, the rush,
The excitement lighting up the dark.
We shared the simplest things,
A laugh, a smile, a late-night call,
And in those moments, in the quiet,
We had everything, after all.
They say, "How can you miss
......
Will you remember me ten years from now? Will you remember the time we first fell in love? Back then was so long ago, I’m sure the memories are already fading from you. Will you remember sitting under the blossoming tree in the spring of my front yard, or has that memory already left you? It’s been some years now, I wonder if you’ll remember gazing up at the stars together. I wonder if living next to the house I used to roam brings up any unresolved feelings in you, or if those thoughts never cross your mind at all. Our most recent love was far different from the first. The first was so pure and innocent it’s hard to see how we ended up like this. We ruined that dynamic, and I can’t say I’m entirely upset by that. I am thankful I got to experience a whole other side of you, I only wish it had been for longer. It feels as though our time together was ripped out of my hands with no time to process, and the whiplash still hurts. I felt deeper for you than anyone else before you, and I will carry that with me forever and always. So I ask of you, will you remember?
Will you remember how you held me? Will you remember my laugh, or the color of my eyes, or will those fade too? If not for the videos I’ve saved of you, I’m sure they would have faded from me too. Will you remember how you kissed me, or the way our bodies seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces intertwined, meant to connect? Everyday it seems that our love for each other fades away, slowly, one piece at a time. It hurts, knowing how good our time was together, but how quickly and ugly it ended. But my time with you will always be bittersweet to me. I wonder if you feel the same? I suppose I may never know how you truly felt, and a part of me is grateful for that. I have far too much to say and yet none of the words, so this is all that I can offer. I wish you well in life, though I only wish our time together had been far different. And I hope you keep the memories of us close, so as not to let them fade away completely. We both broke our promise, but maybe it was meant to be this way, my love.
Im sorry and thank you, goodbye.
I often stop to think about where you might be.
I stare into space and wonder about how we buried our dreams without saying a word.
And when the came and you said you were moving, I made sure to leave you first.
It's the insecurity of enjoying life alone that guts me to my core and rattles me deeper than bone.
I can't say I don't think about us 5 years ago.
Drunk under the stars with your arm as my pillow.
It wouldn't be true to say you didn't treat me right.
But it wouldn't be false if I said that sometimes when I was with you, I felt colder than winter's driest nights.
......
I hate my low moments.
Those moments when I try not to but my eyes find your name and my finger dial your number
These days it never goes through anymore
All I hear is a beep then a silence I will never fill with words
I dont want you to pick up.
I dont want your voice to warm up my heart again.
It grows so cold in the silence thereafter
Against my better judgement I keep dialing.
Hoping you'll pick up yet praying that you wont.
I really hope you dont use the kind of phone that stores calls that didnt get through
......
It's been 705 days since I last felt truly at peace,
705 days since I was with the one I loved the most.
And still, I’m convinced I’ll never love again the way I loved you.
You were the reason I stayed, and in a way, you still are.
I stay now, for the slim chance that we might cross paths once more,
That maybe one day, we’ll meet again.
But deep down, I know I need a reason to stay here,
Other than just holding onto the hope of seeing you,
Someone who belongs only in my past.
......