my one embarrassment; i hate you.
i hate the way even the thought of you made my heart stutter,
the way you made me think life is better as two.
how the thought of that made me misstep, blushing at my blunder.

i hate you wholeheartedly,
even though it hurts a bit to say,
regardless if it was because of something said belatedly,
and that i was the one who had to pay.

i thought it died down as years passed,
because time fixes everything,
even the blurry and shameful past,
but then you come back and you're all i'm seeing

my heart starts beating out of my chest,
and i start wondering what you gave me,
because reason is what i think is best,
because love doesn't make sense; i can't be this happy

and then you walk past,
and i realize i'm the only one left,
the line was already cast,
and i was hooked; blind and deaf