my one embarrassment; i hate you.
i hate the way even the thought of you made my heart stutter,
the way you made me think life is better as two.
how the thought of that made me misstep, blushing at my blunder.
i hate you wholeheartedly,
even though it hurts a bit to say,
regardless if it was because of something said belatedly,
and that i was the one who had to pay.
......
I woke up restless after a night filled with two dreams.
One filled with peace and nature. The other one explicit.
As if I scripted them. They were that good.
One made me calm and happy. One made my blood boil.
I'm losing the first one. The canvas fades so quickly.
The other one I still see very clearly...
A voyeur dream it was. I watched you from not too far.
......
You're dreaming of a pretty girl
With those red stained lips and curly hair
A clinging dress and hourglass shape
A face for a Claude Monet
Oh, she'll hold your hand on the sidewalk of life
She'll giggle at all the right times
She's poised and petite and like a glass of fine wine
She only gets better with age
......
I see him come in, after our dinner with a smirk in his face,
looking at you, as a tool, he will soon abase,
annoyed with his untimely presence, I grin with haste,
while he stares at your chest, even while untying his shoelace,
You hug him in front of me, dreamy and bright,
Showing him to your room, excited for the night
My sunken heart can't deal with this plight,
I probably won't be sleeping as well tonight,
......
Those brown eyes shine better than pools of honey in the sun,
That brown hair flows better than grass flowing on a windy day,
That voice which seems to be even deeper than the ocean,
That laughter that's music to my ears,
No longer feel the same.
I miss the twinkle in your eyes
I miss the happiness in your voice
I miss that smile on your face
I miss sitting next to you
......
my one embarrassment; i hate you.
i hate the way even the thought of you made my heart stutter,
the way you made me think life is better as two.
how the thought of that made me misstep, blushing at my blunder.
i hate you wholeheartedly,
even though it hurts a bit to say,
regardless if it was because of something said belatedly,
and that i was the one who had to pay.
......
You're dreaming of a pretty girl
With those red stained lips and curly hair
A clinging dress and hourglass shape
A face for a Claude Monet
Oh, she'll hold your hand on the sidewalk of life
She'll giggle at all the right times
She's poised and petite and like a glass of fine wine
She only gets better with age
......
In the short time that I have known him
Though only through a screen
There's something about him
That makes my heart keen
His smile is like a beacon
Shining brighter than the stars
In the darkest of nights
It erases all my scars
......
What if I told you I like you?
Would you still treat me the same?
What if I told you I liked you several times since 8th grade?
Would you still maintain our friendship?
You have no idea what goes on in my mind and heart, although I really hope that you do.
I wish you knew, but I don't want to tell you
Because I know how it will end.
I'm not the type of girl you like, although I really wish I was.
I'm not as pretty as her, nor am I as smart as her. I don't want to be like her, but maybe, just maybe, if I was like her, you might have looked at me the way you did to her.
I wish this were in one of those books that I have read. Then there might be a chance of a plot twist, and maybe you like me back as well.
......
I bury my sickening worries,
like a solitary slave
(why do I still hope he..)
sighing him as his gaze calmy
paces away from my face
(h-ho-how I…I hope he di-didn’t
h-ha-have to seem me ble-bleed)
......