I no longer no whether I'm putting on a mask or just suffering from being severely bipolar.
You see with them im the funny one.
There to lighten up the mood with harsh jokes,
that if i heard directed to myself they would make me choke,
but know one would think I who often brags about how good i look would think I look better dead,
those words are ones I'll never claim i said.
I lay in bed so much in a dark room how could a flower ever bloom.
It can't.
Im a weed, that no one cares to re-seed
Is it weird that the people I hate the most are also the ones I love the most?
The only reason I really have for not just dying is the thought of seeing my mom crying but for most of my life ive been lying, trying so hard to be happy and I maybe i am.
But I also want to die sometimes, no this isnt a sign of sucide this is just me telling you how I feel.
But if I voiced this I know I'll be on the next episode of Dr. Phil or swallowing a multiple of pills, and please don't say that you give a fück about how I feel.
Because you not the one who has to deal with these thoughts that drown my mind and take over my vison until im blind,
by tears that release my fears that are now my own peers.
But maybe that's just too deep so I won't ever repeat this instead ill say "im just fine."