My sadness lies to me
The lies take over me
Only for a moment
But so fully.

My sadness lies to me
The lies take over me
Only for a moment
Fully.

My heart is beating no faster than usual, but the beats are shaking.
It’s turning in on itself and sinking down to my stomach
My insides feel crumbly but they don’t crumble.

My fists are longing for the energy to rage
rage to move
move to release
release this fucking feeling.

My eyes threaten the beginning of a cry
They come so close but nothing comes out and I just crave it
I crave the start so that I can have the finish.

My body is aching for fierceness and destruction
but everything just hangs in the balance
Hangs over me
On the fucking brink you get no release.

Is this control?