I’ve got so many voices inside my head,
my Schizophrenia’s keeping them fed,
I’m starting to feel lost within myself,
think I’m turning into someone else.
I’m always planning my escape,
before my brain can escalate.
“I can’t find it,
......
Haunted by the ghost
of the girl who once lived there,
The Room was a graveyard
of her bottomless despair.
Funnily enough,
The Room once kept her alive.
She couldn’t let them see her secrets;
she must survive.
......
I lie at night with music playing,
I convince myself it is to inspire
to create or feel or help me sleep
Instead i use it to drown the thoughts from my mind
An empty canvas with bright colours
I lie with eyes open in the darkness
for to close them is to invite images to fill the void
When they are open i see nothing
but closed i can see everything
......
My eyes are my definers
My legs are my walkers,
My ears are my feelers.
Tickle me.
Scrambled eggs, fissure my shell.
You tried to but I rot.
Atmospheres watch me oxidize,
Please finish what you did not.
The bugs here eat away at me,
With no stove to sear my wounds
......
Every wave overpowers the previous,
Each stronger than before.
An endless cycle of crashing upon tides rolling back.
They seen to constantly strengthen,
But the beach will never be overtaken.
Moments of strength will fade,
Making the next much more powerful.
11/15/23
Who's this man in the mirror,
I have seen him, don't know him.
He is hostile, he doesn't like me,
Never believes a word I say,
I don't either,
Sometimes he cries tenderly,
I don't want to join him.
He will never like me,
It's not worth even trying.
Sorrow fills my heart like a barrel of lead
Regret drowns my spirit like a vengeful foe
Guilt gnaws my peace like a beast starved
Fear rises from my gut like a bubbling volcano
Pain clouds my sight and snatches my breath
I run - Despair lingers and hovers at every turn
An occasional burst of light - A flash - An image evades my grasp
Pain cripples my bones - And it's dark again
"Panic attack," they say.
Is this it?
I whisper, my voice shaking.
I know it’s just in my head,
Everything’s fine.
But then, my heart races—
A drum I can’t outrun.
I flee to the bathroom,
Lock myself in a stall,
......
To that petulant emissary of death
That seeks to chase me always
Like exhale after breath
As if i were life itself
With its beauty given birthright
......
Every wave overpowers the previous,
Each stronger than before.
An endless cycle of crashing upon tides rolling back.
They seen to constantly strengthen,
But the beach will never be overtaken.
Moments of strength will fade,
Making the next much more powerful.
11/15/23