They say I looked back out of curiosity.
But I could have had other reasons.
I looked back mourning my silver bowl.
Carelessly, while tying my sandal strap.
So I wouldn't have to keep staring at the righteous nape
of my husband Lot's neck.
From the sudden conviction that if I dropped dead
he wouldn't so much as hesitate.
From the disobedience of the meek.
Checking for pursuers.
......
I
Living is no laughing matter:
you must live with great seriousness
like a squirrel, for example--
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Living is no laughing matter:
you must take it seriously,
so much so and to such a degree
......
What is Africa to me:
Copper sun or scarlet sea,
Jungle star or jungle track,
Strong bronzed men, or regal black
Women from whose loins I sprang
When the birds of Eden sang?
One three centuries removed
From the scenes his fathers loved,
Spicy grove, cinnamon tree,
What is Africa to me?
......
Have you forgotten yet?...
For the world's events have rumbled on since those gagged days,
Like traffic checked while at the crossing of city-ways:
And the haunted gap in your mind has filled with thoughts that flow
Like clouds in the lit heaven of life; and you're a man reprieved to go,
Taking your peaceful share of Time, with joy to spare.
But the past is just the same--and War's a bloody game...
Have you forgotten yet?...
Look down, and swear by the slain of the War that you'll never forget.
......
Some man unworthy to be possessor
Of old or new love, himself being false or weak,
Thought his pain and shame would be lesser
If on womankind he might his anger wreak,
And thence a law did grow,
One might but one man know;
But are other creatures so?
Are Sun, Moon, or Stars by law forbidden
To smile where they list, or lend away their light?
......
They say forgiveness is for those who were wronged
But so is choosing not to forgive
You don’t have to forgive those who hurt you
In order to move on from that time
It doesn’t matter how many times
they did or didn’t hit you
It doesn’t matter how many times
they did or didn’t scream at you
......
I sat with a man long enough, and I didn’t know his name. We were together always, and together never.
He came to me when I called, and he came when I did not. Cloaked in black with a sash of red like blood distilled, a red that could not be described.
He had fire in his eyes and always wore an expression that terrified me.
We sat in silence while the steam rose from his body, and his answers to all questions were grunts and grunts alone.
“What is your name?” I asked him and he said “I am an emotion”. I thought to myself then you must be Anger.
......
I feel like a dog on a leash, nailed to the ground in your yard.
How is it my happiness dictates your profane and wicked ways?
Your hearts are like water, shifting like your states of minds.
One moment you're warm and fluid, and the next you're cold and stone.
Although we don’t see eye to eye, there is such a thing as compromise.
Your authority almost killed me the first time around.
How are you so blind-sighted to all the times you've let me down?
So, the next time you ask me why I don't want to stay,
Maybe you'll look back and finally acknowledge your mistakes before it's too late.
......
tranquil like the ocean at dusk
in tune with the push and pull of the moon
and when the sea breeze comes smelling of musk,
it curls and whispers into my ear 'soon'
and when I hear it I recall when I once felt relief,
not really looking nor thinking that the next day
it would shift and turn into an overwhelming grief;
how it then felt as if what was torn hadn't been my trust–
but rather a broken wing and I am then hit with dismay
......
Something must be wrong with me
To make me care about a man
Who can't take the time to reply to me
Or simply give a damn
I can only make assumptions
At this point I'm less upset
That he only wanted to fuck me
But too bad for him, I'm not done yet
......