i think it’s time
to set aside
the notion that i must.
devotion to a trust that i
should, could, or would
if just...

the notion that i am, i can't
i won't, will always be
the stories that i wrote and wove
into identity

an ocean of emotion guides
my truth, my status quo
when high, the tide it cries
that what i feel is what i know

the seabed's kept my ankles shackled
far too close to ghosts
the ships i've wrecked
the halls i've crept
inspect, then diagnose
my every step
each blink, each breath
each fail, success
and every hope

my every question
drips with
haunting whispers
unprovoked

they undress
every vote
of confidence
and blow me smoke

each consequence i bear
i'm sure i’m destined to repeat

i'm shameless in the shape of
all the shadows that i sleep with

so rather than
attempt
to drown them out,
swim,
fight the dead…
i'll just drown them completely
and sleep in the clouds instead