In a corner there
I see your memory,
A child who could neither fight nor flee,
Hiding from reality
In the circle of your arms
Do you find safety?
Wishing the world around would disappear,
"I'm only safe when it's just me"
......
I took your broken vase
Put the pieces together
Took gold to hold’m together
Still not enough
Because you yearned for the flowers
It once held
My house is just that
A place for sleeping and belonging
But I don't want to go into it
Because of my issues from my trauma
My social media is for connections
But I'm terrified of the prison
Of my family's hate
and their relentless criticism
......
I find this depressing,
Very depressing.
Change is so slippery to fall back upon its origin,
As if I draw a darkened smile in my shirt with water.
Day in, day out,
How many times must one climb to fall,
An innard of pinnacle peace with someone holding the flag proudly,
Whereas I wake up empty-handed,
To the smell of condescending sunlight.
We lay with this in mind in bed, sleeping only slightly to remember nor forget.
......
Sometimes I wonder, what makes the heart so cruel,
When forgiveness blooms in the soil of a soul’s duel.
If I, broken and bent, can rise from the wreck,
Can bury the ghosts, and silence the wrecked,
Why can’t they let go, leave me in peace,
And allow me the breath of a soft release?
I don’t ask for riches, or a word of praise,
Not even a promise, not even a gaze.
Though they tore from me every spark, every light,
......
Sometimes I wonder, what makes the heart so cruel,
When forgiveness blooms in the soil of a soul’s duel.
If I, broken and bent, can rise from the wreck,
Can bury the ghosts, and silence the wrecked,
Why can’t they let go, leave me in peace,
And allow me the breath of a soft release?
I don’t ask for riches, or a word of praise,
Not even a promise, not even a gaze.
Though they tore from me every spark, every light,
......
My house is just that
A place for sleeping and belonging
But I don't want to go into it
Because of my issues from my trauma
My social media is for connections
But I'm terrified of the prison
Of my family's hate
and their relentless criticism
......
I'm a man of my word today
Because you never believed me when I told you why I was crying
I'm a man of my word today
I was a child then and somehow I was always your enemy
I'm a man of my word today
Because you told me you'd reject me
If I put myself first before my parent's priorities
......
Your eyes where like warmth.
Your eyes where like home.
Your eyes became pain.
Your eyes became torment.
Your eyes are like scares.
Yours eyes still remain.
Your I eyes, I do wish I could prick from my brain!
......
I’m oscillating
Between the sterile, serene rattle of hospital HVAC
And the sensory symphony of the garden
Both singing the same song
Of self-love and healing
A stark juxtaposition
My favorite kind
Watching the fiery orange feather celosia
Frothing in the breeze
......