I should be over it
Right?
It's been 353 days
Almost a year has passed
But why am I still scared?
Why do I still hate it when people come close
I still panic when I don't have to
Still feel his hand on my skin
Degrading me in every way
Still remember the words he said to me
And the excuses he gave
I still feel my mothers disappointed look
Still feel like I am a failure
No matter how hard I try
No matter how good I'm going
It feels like I haven't moved from that nursing bed
I can't help but tear my own skin whenever I'm taking a shower
To feel clean
To harshly get his touch off of my body
The body that manages to always get me in trouble
The body that is always the reason behind my pain
The body that I now hurt
To distract me from my pain
To get revenge on my body
Doing whatever it takes to distract myself