As the blazing star resolves in the ocean,
The haunting echoes come out of hiding.
My trembling fingers long for the
blood-soaked glass slab to firmly
stroke my withering skin.
The slabs of my broken,
blood-soaked mirror,
sheen brighter than
......
Do you ever feel out of reach,
out of touch with the world?
Like the world's moving on
but you're drifting away.
The worlds leaving you behind,
but you're watching it all through a birds eye view,
in slow motion,
......
I was so so stupid to mark where we can see
Now everywhere I go this scar follows me
And I can’t escape the purple glow
Coming from the ripped skin below
I’m trapped by a sickening glare
Reminded of why and how I put it there
Laughing off inquiries
Writing in this virtual diary
......
I should be over it
Right?
It's been 353 days
Almost a year has passed
But why am I still scared?
Why do I still hate it when people come close
I still panic when I don't have to
Still feel his hand on my skin
Degrading me in every way
Still remember the words he said to me
......
I wish people could see through my eyes
Hear through my ears
Cry through the night
And think my thoughts
I wish someone could feel my pain
Because maybe they wouldn't stare
And i wouldn't feel the glares
They wouldn't talk about me
And would know that behind every person
That talks about me
......
I wear a mask to hold in place
A painted smile upon my face;
But underneath this outer shell,
Lies hidden deep an inner hell
Each whispered word- a silent plea,
Yet no one sees the ghost in me.
My head is filled with endless thoughts
Some battles won, but this one's lost
The blade I hold inside my hand
......
Curled up in the corner
in dead of the night.
Afraid of darkness
and praying for light.
Eyes peer from the ceiling.
Hands reach from the floor.
Hearts beat from the walls
and he stands at the door.
......
The feeling
haunts me
time and time again.
I feel it as it’s coming
like a scent upon the wind.
Like wind across the predator
wafts out to warn the prey.
So likewise all I know and feel
screams, “turn and run away!”
......
During the summer was the best.
During the summer i became clean from self harm.
During the summer i was so happy.
During the summer in the best state of mind.
Then fall hit.
......
When someone asks you “are you ok?” you always feel the need to say “ya im fine”.
Even if you just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning the blood from your wrist.
Even if you just had the whole bottle of pills in your mouth ready to swallow.
Even if you just was about to kick the chair away.
Even if you just had your whole room smelling like burning skin.
......