You know it’s bad
When you start imagining
Dreaming about dying
Thinking up scenarios
Of you not being on this planet anymore
Dropping off the edge of the earth
And how good it would feel
And what you’re feeling right now
Your heart sinking
Your screams dissolving into thin air
Like they were never there
It’s all pointless whatever you do
You’re stuck in a corner
And you’re not allowed to move
Everyone is against you
No one understands
Rope,pills or window
Someone help me decide
The closest people
End up being fake
And the hug of the one person you love
Is too far away
You can’t contain your emotions
You want to laugh scream and cry
But nothing happens just
Hands shaking
Hearts breaking
Razor blade in hand
Wrist, thigh or hair band
I don’t want to let go of the feeling
I want to follow through
I want to get a knife
But I’m not brave enough
I’m scared of death
I want to be dead but without the process
I want her to pay
For the actions she did
For the pain she’s caused
For the people she’s turned against me
I want her to know how serious I am
What she did to me
And that my death was all her fault
That she has blood on her hands
That all the shit she lied about
It wasn’t just a joke
She can’t just get away with it
Like she always does
I want arms to wrap around me
To feel safe but I know that it can’t stay that way
Because things change
Things get worse
I want to die
I want to fucking die
A car to run over me
To trip over a knife
Please universe fucking kill me I dare you