Daddy, where were you when I was just a child,
A perfect little girl, eager and mild?

I didn't ask for much—just a look, a touch—
But you slipped away; was I asking too much?

Were you running from her, from her bitter flame?
But what about me—did you even know my name?

I lied to everyone, said we were close,
But how could we be when I was just a ghost?

I pretended to be someone else just to see
Who you were, where you'd go, who you'd want me to be.

The only time you remembered your little girl,
Was when your hand was heavy, and love didn’t unfurl.

Was it my size, my shape that brought you shame?
Now I’m thin, but inside, I feel the same.

A shadow of who I might have been,
All hollowed out with darkness caving in.

You left me torn between two worlds, Mom wanted a scholar, polite and reserved, You wanted beauty, charm, and grace, I kept changing masks, but couldn't find my place.

Now I’m lost in a fog, between who I am and was, Smart on paper, but at living, I pause. I’m skinny, but starving for love and truth, Eating then purging, destroying my youth.

I begged him to love what he could see,
But how could he love the stranger in me?
A child who doesn’t know her own reflection,
Pieced together from your broken affection.

I write to you, Dad, then delete every line,
Hoping somehow you’d see my sign.

But I’m still bound to the ghost of your name,
An orphan of love, drowning in shame.

One of you stayed, the other disappeared,
But neither of you was ever here.

An orphan without a grave to find,
Just the lost echo of a love left behind.

Why couldn’t you love me, just as I was,
A little girl waiting, believing that a mistake she was?

Now I’m caught between your world and mine,
Still searching for some kind of sign.