i've been looking for you
for such a long time,
for such a many shoulders looked over to
catch just the glimpse, revealing your act.

i got so lost in the process. scrutiny,
under every rock, to find
just the faintest of marks,
that I'm on your path.

i thought i wanted peaceful summer fuzz,
blissful warmth, glowing, timeless red,
all from head to toe.

i imagined you in every other shade,
swept up in every other sea.

so many of your pellets have flown my way -
fiery pinks, ocean-hued blues
gathered on the doormat - unattended piece;
fragile piles, hurried by the wind.

they all reached to grab my hand and
bring me to the rose field,
where all things color bloomed.

but i stood,
staring at the whitest wood;
open doors, stainless knob.
gentle scars. touched up by the bright.

and the wind, impetuous,
growing ever-restless,
grabbed them all.
brought them to the blur,
where all things color wilt.

i am an appropriate background.
inert, fruitful. yet pleased, in a way.
yearning, craving,- but not this.

maybe you're just not what i've been looking for?