it was like a brilliant sunset
at the peak of its magnificence the colors blended sending its rays of harmony through the clouds and everywhere below
that's what my time with you had been like
i felt nothing could take the thrill, the passion, the peace away
we were perfect
and nobody - no one - is perfect
but we were
you were all i needed and you were there when i needed and god i needed a whole fucking lot
and god knows i followed you like the rain after the clouds
my presence merely seconds, maybe minutes behind yours
you need not ask, i had done it already
you need not praise, i'd do anything for you
you need not worry yourself with small things - i'll do everything
you were mine but i was not mine
so when you yell, i heard you the first time
when you complain, i'd listen to it all
when you threaten, i love how your voice does that thing
the thing that makes me feel the fear my mother said i should have for no man, but god
but god didn't warn me
mom didn't tell me
and i never truly watched that sunset when you were all i could see
just like that, the rays retract behind the clouds
the colors dull and muddle together
even bright paints make black when mixed
and the bruises
mom found the bruises
i blame god
he made that stupid sunset
the same one that gave me that hope
the one i loved, that loved me - never more than i did it
he made those marks stay longer than you did
the scars deeper than my love
i look at the sky, the night you laid your loveless hands on my body
and i was late - fuck
a minute too late for those pure rays
just dull blue fading to black behind the clouds
ha, like me
and i understood, finally, that sunset
the sunset that darkens much too early
far too early for my taste
the sunset that leaves you pining for the peak
it always comes back after the dark, right
no matter how many blues and blacks, the pinks and oranges are worth much more, right
my mother agreed
but she doesn't like my blues and blacks
i guess i'll never be as beautiful as your sunset