They are pulled from me;
Stretched, knotted, and
Burned in a fireplace
Where trust and human emotions,
Are turned to blackened ash
I am left an empty roll.
The ribbons of my feelings,
Manhandled, manipulated
Mitigated, and misunderstood.
......
you break my heart once;
twice;
again;
and again;
and again;
i hold my heart together with sellotape,
holding out hope, too much hope, that
one day you’ll give me the super glue
to keep me from breaking
permanently
......
Brightest smiles. Sometimes worn by the molested and abused.
The smile shows what they wish to feel and that which they are hiding.
Hiding what they wished didn't happen.
Putting it in the back of their minds.
Hoping that the bright smile will outshine the dark depths.
Brightest smiles. Sometimes worn by the controversial abusers.
The ones that hurt; the ones that ruin.
The ones that destroy something before it's built.
Smile and hurt to hide that they were once hurt.
......
blinding power trips
assumptions and conquests
i never said i was available
but you presume i’ll come
i never gave you permission
but entitlement doesn’t need approval
i didn’t say anything at all
but you pushed me through the wall
maybe it was my fault
frozen or fluid
......
We were running and we were safe,
We were high but well behaved
Positive souls by all that mean,
Driving cool in a fast machine
Then something happened,
We blacked out
We stuck in the dark,
Could not shout
It's the car wrack,
That we couldn't move
......
They are pulled from me;
Stretched, knotted, and
Burned in a fireplace
Where trust and human emotions,
Are turned to blackened ash
I am left an empty roll.
The ribbons of my feelings,
Manhandled, manipulated
Mitigated, and misunderstood.
......
I never see the waves of grief coming
why would I
I’m not dead
yet
every now and then
I think about all the things
that have happened in my life,
everything I thought I was desensitized to,
and I am unbearably saddened
because what I went through
......
They say forgiveness is for those who were wronged
But so is choosing not to forgive
You don’t have to forgive those who hurt you
In order to move on from that time
It doesn’t matter how many times
they did or didn’t hit you
It doesn’t matter how many times
they did or didn’t scream at you
......
Grizzly and gory, I refuse,
To let your fingers frill my hair.
And lies and falsehood
That you carefully sow, to any longer infest me.
How is it when the sailor sets,
To leave your island away,
That the siren song so beautifully sung,
Thwarts his mast into disarray.
......
My house is just that
A place for sleeping and belonging
But I don't want to go into it
Because of my issues from my trauma
My social media is for connections
But I'm terrified of the prison
Of my family's hate
and their relentless criticism
......