My house is just that
A place for sleeping and belonging
But I don't want to go into it
Because of my issues from my trauma
My social media is for connections
But I'm terrified of the prison
Of my family's hate
and their relentless criticism
......
I'm a hell of a woman
A lot closer to the devil than Heaven
Burning bridges as I cross them
Winged like a angel but more 666 than 7
At least that's what my parents say...
I can't catch a break
So I'll catch you in the act of lying to my face
I'm wrong even if I'm right
......
She lately hears lyric nightingale at the sole window,
And through its bars witnesses a melancholy moon,
And her heart longs for the freedom of velvety flight,
But lessons she now knows weren't learned too soon!
An innocent victim of childhood abuse and ensuing rage,
In the days of sugar plum fairies and make believe,
A streetwise teenage runaway, who soon lost her way,
After making an unwise choice of whom she would love!
During lights out she makes plans and begins to reminisce,
Knowing in her young heart, it won't always be like this,
......
She didn't know what she was doing
On her own to buy a car
There was only interest offered
From her tyranical abuser
Lying silently, draped over her bed
She tried to plan it out
How she'd know which car to buy and buy it
Before she gave in to her dad's "support"
......
You missed it when you walked in,
The tiles in the bathroom that looked like an ogre,
That had captured my imagination as a child.
You missed that the bottom stair was harder,
The leak in the upstairs bathroom that was neglected and left to the care of a bowl,
Emptied weekly as if this chore was less than fixing it.
You missed the dent in the paint from the arguments,
Doors slammed haphazardly into walls,
The stain on the carpet from way back when,
......
My house is just that
A place for sleeping and belonging
But I don't want to go into it
Because of my issues from my trauma
My social media is for connections
But I'm terrified of the prison
Of my family's hate
and their relentless criticism
......
I'm a hell of a woman
A lot closer to the devil than Heaven
Burning bridges as I cross them
Winged like a angel but more 666 than 7
At least that's what my parents say...
I can't catch a break
So I'll catch you in the act of lying to my face
I'm wrong even if I'm right
......
She didn't know what she was doing
On her own to buy a car
There was only interest offered
From her tyranical abuser
Lying silently, draped over her bed
She tried to plan it out
How she'd know which car to buy and buy it
Before she gave in to her dad's "support"
......
In the quiet of my home,
where I thought I’d found some peace,
He hid his eyes in shadows,
his cruelty never ceased.
With cameras set in secret,
to watch me through my strife,
He recorded every struggle,
every moment of my life.
His goal was not just to hurt,
......
It happened again.
I was doing so good
About avoiding it too.
I thought I had removed
All the people who
Would do it to me.
I didn’t.
I never will.
......