I turn on the shower and my thoughts quiet to a whisper.
I start to undress as I ease my brain's exert.
My eyes avoid the mirror and I step into the tub.
My mind starts to wonder while reality falls out of touch.

I try to clear my head and focus on being present.
I re-feel shame for granting permission after his ceaseless exhortation.
My musings recall his unwanted hands on my skin.
My body stiffens in distress and the trauma floods right back in.

I reached for the soap bar and had a flashback to age 10.
I was worrying about pregnancy when my pre-pubescence couldn't even permit.
I picked up the loofah and got knocked out of the recollection.
I forgot I need to wash my hair first, how silly of me for not paying attention.



Wednesday 15 January 2025