When does all the reinvention, reincarnation, praying, and stumbling end?
Where does the transformation stop and the life after it begin?
To transfigure is to change, to become more beautiful and spiritual
And yet, each one of my successive reinventions
Feels more like sewing sinews to a fractured bone
Than weeks in which I praise God and embrace the transformation.
I am tired of reinventing myself.
It has been five years since I began to change–
......
1 breath 2 breath 3 breath my ribs shatter with
each inhale exhale but i have to keep on
going, just to prove i am not a myth
my name is not me, but just a pawn
I hate myself, she is not who i am
No one sees me as him but i am please
I hear that god awful name, I’m not a ma’am
People always treat me like a disease
......
"Panic attack," they say.
Is this it?
I whisper, my voice shaking.
I know it’s just in my head,
Everything’s fine.
But then, my heart races—
A drum I can’t outrun.
I flee to the bathroom,
Lock myself in a stall,
......
I was sent to the edge of that cliff, and there I sat.
There I stared into the void, the nothingness.
I felt the rock from beneath sifting...crumbling.
Stillness
I could not find the strength, as the earth beneath disinterested.
......
If you ain't got family
Damn (then?) you don't have anything
There's nobody home
But they're there just the same
Ghosts with eyes you can't see
Watching from the corners like creeps
It's so scary and it's shameful I wish I had a family who wanted me
Home, I just want to be home
......
1 breath 2 breath 3 breath my ribs shatter with
each inhale exhale but i have to keep on
going, just to prove i am not a myth
my name is not me, but just a pawn
I hate myself, she is not who i am
No one sees me as him but i am please
I hear that god awful name, I’m not a ma’am
People always treat me like a disease
......
"Panic attack," they say.
Is this it?
I whisper, my voice shaking.
I know it’s just in my head,
Everything’s fine.
But then, my heart races—
A drum I can’t outrun.
I flee to the bathroom,
Lock myself in a stall,
......
When does all the reinvention, reincarnation, praying, and stumbling end?
Where does the transformation stop and the life after it begin?
To transfigure is to change, to become more beautiful and spiritual
And yet, each one of my successive reinventions
Feels more like sewing sinews to a fractured bone
Than weeks in which I praise God and embrace the transformation.
I am tired of reinventing myself.
It has been five years since I began to change–
......
I was sent to the edge of that cliff, and there I sat.
There I stared into the void, the nothingness.
I felt the rock from beneath sifting...crumbling.
Stillness
I could not find the strength, as the earth beneath disinterested.
......
I, moving from this skin of confinement,
The blood blossoms clean,
Covering myself in roses.
Draping myself,
Matching the crimson branches
Clinging to my swollen orbs.
Conscious not to fashion patchwork,
But the linen lines remained,
......