Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Harm, Suicide
How you have become my friends
You have grown up with me and have been by my side
Friends I could not live without
You guys have controlled my life
And have left me at the end of my rope
What I go through every day is very real
You have put me through the lowest darkest times
It angers me when people put off my issues
Like they don't even care, they don't even try
......
How do I explain
That my emotions are painful
That happiness is euphoria
That anger is blinded rage
That love borders obsession
How do I explain
That my emotions are my enemy
That sadness is suicidal thoughts
That pain is an agonizing fire that consumes me
That emotions are a hurricane
......
What if the perfect murder
Is all that i do on my own?
What if i can't go further
And I'll have to do it all alone?
I look in the mirror and
Don't see myself anymore
All i see is a lifeless body,
A stranger looking, a faded blur
......
Im here in the matrix
Reality at times feels fake
Holding myself together
For if I don't I will break
Energy of which
It does take alot
offen leaves me
In a deep place of thought
Removed and excluded
Of what lay around
......
If you ain't got family
Damn (then?) you don't have anything
There's nobody home
But they're there just the same
Ghosts with eyes you can't see
Watching from the corners like creeps
It's so scary and it's shameful I wish I had a family who wanted me
Home, I just want to be home
......
I, moving from this skin of confinement,
The blood blossoms clean,
Covering myself in roses.
Draping myself,
Matching the crimson branches
Clinging to my swollen orbs.
Conscious not to fashion patchwork,
But the linen lines remained,
......
an untouchable love;
tears shed by my faults.
no apology worthy,
as you’ve been my rocks.
i want you to be happy;
to return to your home.
I simply wish this community;
will appreciate your soul.
......
it’s crazy
coming to the realization
coming to a situation
out in winter
few clothes and little shelter
giving you my wants
giving you my needs
and expecting nothing in return; yet i feel nothing
......
Unthinkable moments of radon decay
Ratcheted by powerful inhibitions of examiners
An unquenchable thirst for power
Necessitated by humanities conflict with regression
Insolent of other existents
Unaffected ones destroy for their search
Marring the desolate with sickness
Intending opportunity not
I broke my mirror
Grains of glass lay on the ground
The shards poke my feet and stick in my hands
It’s definitely been more than seven years of bad luck
Putting shards back in the frame just is not the same
The holes in my reflection are annoying
Sometimes, I wonder why I’m trying so hard to fix my mirror
Glue at least gets the shimmering pieces back up
......