Smile for the camera because the present is here.
Right now is forever, so look neither forward nor rear.
If you are as you were, looking back one whole year,
Did you even progress, or is it just evidently unclear?
Timestamps are great, and I recommend observations at a fiscal stretch.
Start now and not later, or future you might look back with invidiousness.
Yes, set goals and expectations to mark your achievements,
......
I saw two eastern tiger swallowtails today.
I watched as they flickered, fluttered, and frolicked, rising and dipping.
A calm breeze gently passed my way.
In the distance, a boy mirthfully turned and flipped.
A sanguine sun coyly peeked through tall pines and sweet gums.
Then a gentle voice came and caressed my ears.
I savored sweet breaths as a bee crossed and hummed.
And I heard, "Shhh! Hold on, I'm abating all troubles and banishing all fears."
There's a fire in my brain with steam shooting from both ears, and a flame in each eye boiling every droplet of tear.
I'm trying to keep my thoughts from getting too out of hand, because a long time ago I told myself that joking about suicide was banned.
Next year should breeze, and I'll see the now through trivial lenses.
But this temper is untamable, and I already feel Death's commencements.
'Too far gone' hasn't even left yet,
But sometimes I ask myself if I'd rather an open or closed casket.
......
In that moment I faltered, I hesitated.
The mask shattered.
The walls which had long protected the sanctuary of my mind fell away.
The world saw through the image I had portrayed all those years to protect my wounded heart.
And like the bursting of a dam deep inside.
My emotions flooded out with the strength of a great sea.
And my soul cried out with a voice of a helpless child who had only ever wished to be loved.
How do I explain
That my emotions are painful
That happiness is euphoria
That anger is blinded rage
That love borders obsession
How do I explain
That my emotions are my enemy
That sadness is suicidal thoughts
That pain is an agonizing fire that consumes me
That emotions are a hurricane
......
I saw two eastern tiger swallowtails today.
I watched as they flickered, fluttered, and frolicked, rising and dipping.
A calm breeze gently passed my way.
In the distance, a boy mirthfully turned and flipped.
A sanguine sun coyly peeked through tall pines and sweet gums.
Then a gentle voice came and caressed my ears.
I savored sweet breaths as a bee crossed and hummed.
And I heard, "Shhh! Hold on, I'm abating all troubles and banishing all fears."
Smile for the camera because the present is here.
Right now is forever, so look neither forward nor rear.
If you are as you were, looking back one whole year,
Did you even progress, or is it just evidently unclear?
Timestamps are great, and I recommend observations at a fiscal stretch.
Start now and not later, or future you might look back with invidiousness.
Yes, set goals and expectations to mark your achievements,
......
“I'm fine”
Feeling alone
In my head all the time
Not okay
Even though I try
“I’m fine”
Feeling like I want to die
I am not alright
Nighttime creeps in
......
My mind is a prison.
It's full of abuse every day.
If only you heard what my brain likes to say,
And maybe on that day, I would be considered strong and not weak.
These lines on my arm are proof.
Everything in my head was too loud and I didn’t know how to speak.
I go through this week after week.
I’m glad I found my outlet; I only wish it had been sooner.
......
She makes a small red line on her arm
Then covers it with her sleeve
And fakes a smile
As she prays that no one can see
She feels broken
Unfixable
She feels like a screw-up
Like no matter what she does it’s never right
Its never enough
......