"i still think of you
...am i even surprised anymore?"

.

late night again
it's getting pointless
and it's getting
noisy in my head

who are you.
what are you doing in my mind.
get out.

what is this damned anger?
why is my hand shaking?

tell me you're talking to an imaginary me
like i talk to a puppet wearing your face
in my mind
tell me you dreamt of me too
tell me
my leave taints your vision
make things look dull

tell me you suffered just like i did and
i might consider
coming back

i sigh.
this...obsession.
it isn't healthy, is it.

i have to let you go.

if these rose vines pull tight enough
to strangle, i
don't think the thorns will have mercy
on this vain love
and it might just bleed out
into resentment

i'm tired of being sad
tired of being angry
tired of being such a lamb
when i'm really a wolf

i'm tired of the fact that you
are still the only one who can
drag these emotions out of me
kicking and screaming

have i survived you?
or have you survived me?

we must think of what we had
in those terms
because false hope can kill.
and i won't admit to loving you anymore.

.

i only ever saw how love
could be flipped into hatred
in movies and books
...i never thought it would be
this easy.

the line between love and hate
is thinner than i thought.
look, it's disappearing as we speak.

this murderous vengefulness
i...musn't get drunk on it.

are my eyes vacant?
good. that's how they're supposed to be.

i asked once if you'd ruined love for me
i'm determined that you do not
but why does it seem like every direction
is a trap?

.

"stay out of my mind before
i start to hate you.”