Dead is my hope,
Hatred alone is shown,
Said are hating words,
Blood may get extracted,
Ahead lie grave dangers,
Head I only with deep fear,
Bed gives me no sleep,
Bread is my life to devils,
Read by none is my heart,
Led by worries, I march,
......
The light will fade, darkness will engulf,
And when it's over you will not hear the cries,
Of a child who tried to hide from their words and eyes,
Burrowing himself under a pool of lies
Or the faint whisper of pain that rang in the corridors.
Or the tears that stained the broken walls,
Or the screams that echoed behind his closed door,
Or the blood that dripped on the bathroom floor.
......
Worth it I mean.
The Breath and Withhold you lose trying to convey your Feelings to the World next to xou.
The Stamina you need to develop, to last beneath those crushing Waves of self doubt, self pity and self loathing.
To surrender the Ability to recognize your Reflection after having forgotten which dream to follow.
Endless Moments wasted for a shred of foreign, mindless acceptance.
How come you are ready to lose so much of yourself when you don´t even know what you´re so desperately in Need of.
Ready to thrash between wanting to go unseen and hide your Mistakes or stick out to feel an ounce of Uniqueness.
Because this is not going to end.
It is not going to end with you losing a Battle against yourself in order to blend into the Mass to the Point where you´ve forgotten your favourite colour.
Within your Lifetime the only Thing you´re going to realize is that what you´ve been looking for is right there.
......
I’m nothing like how you wanted me to be now
I have changed how you want me to be
I’m a lot different now
Then I ever was so many years ago
And I’m here because you wanted me to be, but the way you raised me fucked me a little to much
I’m supposed to be a perfect child
I have to have good grades
I can’t like the same gender
I can’t refer to myself as a man,
......
Long-long ago, as the ballad recalls,
In the castle with ivy woven in walls,
Under dark velvet skies, in the eye of the Moon
With sweet-scented fragrance blue roses bloomed.
Dare not to come close to the sharp spikes of white
For vermilion potion is kept in inside.
In those azure bushes, with hearts in a hand
A couple of lovers had found their end.
This story is ancient, as old as can be,
But the roses bore it for you and for me...
......
Dead is my hope,
Hatred alone is shown,
Said are hating words,
Blood may get extracted,
Ahead lie grave dangers,
Head I only with deep fear,
Bed gives me no sleep,
Bread is my life to devils,
Read by none is my heart,
Led by worries, I march,
......
I’m nothing like how you wanted me to be now
I have changed how you want me to be
I’m a lot different now
Then I ever was so many years ago
And I’m here because you wanted me to be, but the way you raised me fucked me a little to much
I’m supposed to be a perfect child
I have to have good grades
I can’t like the same gender
I can’t refer to myself as a man,
......
In the cold light of day,
We do have a say,
In how we run where we live,
In a world of affray,
We can do more than pray,
Terrorists, we must never forgive.
To the depths they will plumb,
They are cowardly scum,
Who live a life of pretend,
......
My mind's always like I'm in a solace like I'm not gonna get older but I swear it's got no clue..that my heart's gonna crumble, stumbling over what the hell I should do,that I should say nothing's wrong that I'm always gonna stay young and not take the fall for all the blames I've seen it all, apart of me it's like a bursting seem it's gonna tare I get so scared of that one fragile golden thread the line keeping my thoughts from becoming dead is it a sign or is it what's said am I a solace to you or am I a cage to me instead?
Continue reading
"i still think of you
...am i even surprised anymore?"
.
late night again
it's getting pointless
and it's getting
noisy in my head
......