If only I didn’t care.
I didn’t care how my hair looked that day, how clear my skin was, how bloated I was, how white my teeth looked, how puffy my cheeks were or how dark my eye bags looked.
If only I didn’t care if what I wore looked nice, if my pants made my bottom look good, if my shirt made me look fat, if my backpack looked cheap, if my shoes looked clean and new, if my jewelry didn’t look tacky, or if my glasses sat right on my nose.
If only I didn’t care when my laugh was too loud, when I talked too much or too little, when I said something weird, when I was awkward, when I said something embarrassing, when I walked weird or when no one cared what I said.
I didn’t care if people looked at me weird, mocked me, if they thought I was annoying, thought I was easy, thought I was crazy, thought I was smart, thought I was dumb, thought I was boring or too much
If only I didn’t care I had no skill, didn’t know how to play an instrument, or sing, or play a sport, or be good at word games, or board games, or video games, or organizing, or drawing, or crafting, or how I can’t ride a bike or whistle.
If only I didn’t care.
Just be free.
Not care.
Not care about tomorrow.
Not care about yesterday.
Take a deep breath, not of anxiousness,
But a breath of relief.
The relief of not caring.