Vera Rice

May 07, 1985-Ohio
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My Ghost!

I tried every day to run away from my ghost, that Haunts me in my dreams and when I'm awake. What did I do so wrong to have lost such a precious gift? I have tried not to blame myself for losing another baby inside my body, I have done everything I can not worry about it.
Even though I'm scared plum out of my mind, for the baby I'm carrying now I pray every day and night that everything is perfect with this precious Angel. I will keep trying not to worry about my ghost that is always haunting me.
The times I have to fight and face my ghost by myself is getting more and more each day I'm reminded of it more and more each day, It keeps coming to the surface reminding me of my pain and guilt all over again.
I'm sick and tired of pretending that I'm not hurting inside over my ghost, my pain and most of all my guilt, what's so funny is that nobody can help me. It's my cross to bear alone forever, so I'll patch up the holes that got ripped open anew again.
Where it made me feel my pain and guilt as well as facing my ghost again, I refuse to burden anyone with my ghost because it's mine to deal with, and I will suppress my pain and my guilt.
When I feel like I'm finally on equal ground with my ghost I will steel myself firmly and mentally to overpower my ghost, so I can lock it back up in the deepest and darkest place inside my body. Not even my pain or guilt will be able to bring my ghost back to the surface again, it won't be easy to get rid of my ghost but I'll try my hardest not to worry or stress over my ghost anymore.
By: Vera Rice!
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