Pauline Grey

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Burden

A text for her birthday, a text for mine
Long digital letters once every few months
To catch up on how we’re doing.
Wishes for Christmas and the New Year.
Who could guess that she’s the most important person in my life?
If I text her more, will she get tired of me?
Is she… already tired of me?

She says she’s excited to see me. But what if she’s not?
What if she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings
In honour of our history?
What if I’m just a relic from the past
That she doesn’t want to hurt but doesn’t care about?
What if…


She’s waiting for me in front of her house
I smile and get out of the car
Run towards her
And she takes me in her arms, hugs me and doesn’t let me go.
Is it possible that I’m important to her too? That I’m
As important to her
As she is
To me?
Surely not. She’s funny, talented, and I’m just
me.

5 days with her -friendship bracelets, reading books and watching movies together, laughing without knowing why-
And now I’m leaving.
She hugs me again, just as tight as she did when I arrived.
Hasn’t she gotten sick of me yet?
She probably doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
Two blue eyes look into mine
Full of emotion.

“I’ll miss your smile”, she says
And at these words I smile even wider than before,
Hug her again and get in the car.
As soon as she can’t see me,
I break down crying.
Because those words can only mean that I’m important to her too.


Right?
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