I could’ve had a daughter. Big brown eyes like her mother and thick long lashes like her father. She could’ve been the most beautiful little girl in the world. A smile so big that it would warm even the coldest heart and a laugh so full of life you couldn’t help but laugh with her. She could’ve made every bad day feel ok with a gentle embrace and those little fingers woven into mine.

I could’ve had a son. Funny like his father yet full of love like his mother. He would’ve been the most handsome boy in the entire world with a heart as big as his beautiful smile. He would’ve constantly kept you on your toes with his curious and adventurous way but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

I miss my children that never was. I think about you everyday and wonder if I go to heaven someday will you be waiting there for me? Will you recognize me? I know that I would know you. I want to hold you so tight and never let you go. I want to feel the warmth of unconditional love in my arms and the peace that will surround and flow through me. I want to hold my children and tell you how sorry I am for the mistake I made when I was young and when my body was too weak to carry you. Until then I hold you in my dreams and I will tell you that I love you. One day you will know your mother.