i’ve been quiet, i’ve been keeping
all these thoughts i can’t explain
there’s a part of me i’m losing
and i know it’s not your blame
but i wake up in the morning
with a weight that’s all my own
guess i’m good at making messes
and pretending i’m alone

it’s the way you say my name like it’s the only one you know
like i’m everything you wanted, like i never let you go
but i’ve been slipping through the cracks, and i’m scared you’ll start to see
that the girl you think you’re holding isn’t sure she wants to be

it’s so hard to say it
but i’m not okay yet
i’ve been running circles in my mind
you deserve a promise
but i’m barely honest
i can’t let you love what i can’t find

i keep hoping you’ll forget it
all the things i never say
maybe if i hide it deeper
you won’t notice i’m afraid
there’s a softness in your voice that feels like shelter in a storm
and i hate the way i need it, how it’s never felt this warm

it’s the silence in the car rides, every time you take me home
all the things i never mention, all the words i should’ve shown
but i’ve been waiting for a reason, a way to make you see
that i’m terrified of losing what you always give for free

it’s so hard to say it
but i’m not okay yet
there’s a distance i can’t close inside my head
you deserve the real me
but i’ve been so empty
i’m scared to let you know what’s left unsaid

i don’t want to be a burden
i don’t want to let you down
but i’m caught between the person
that i am and who’s around
and i wish i could be simple
like the way you always are
but i’m tangled in this feeling
like i’m watching from afar

it’s so hard to say it
but i’m not okay yet
i’m afraid that i might break us both in two
you deserve a love song
but i’ve been so wrong
i just hope you know it’s not about you

i just hope you know i’m trying to be true