consolidating hetersexual homosexuality:

what a "word salad"....

am i wrong in wanting to love,
the sort of love,
that gravitates toward
men singing about love...

because i'm sure as shit able
to never conflate,
to never want,
to never need,
the sort of love,
women sing about,
project into "a" future...

i want gay dildo porn wants...
but i don't want gay dildo porn wants
either!
Dorian can have
his fucking lisp and his new gained
freedom with Frankenstein
to boot!

i want sunset... the goldenday bridge...
chris isaak rasp... shit...
golden gate bridge!

perhaps i only wanted to love
the way gay men love each other...
i am jealous of women being
giving birth...
but knots for cuddles...
and spaghetti for custard
when it comes to...
shouldn't the argument begin...
not so much pro-choice
but pro-caesarean section...
you can just bypass the fucking
biblical prophesy!
cunt! you can give birth
without having to numb
the cock-harem pre-,
you don't exactly require
a toddler's head to counter the girth
of size-matters contestents!

i don't ever want the love of a woman,
i never want to love like a woman,
a dog? i can hope for loving
a dog, when i don't have to
acquire either a leash or a muzzle...

to be able to give birth to life...
leaves a woman with one
impediment...
you can "give" life...
but you will never be able
to love it...
how so? hurricane-she,
aren't you? earthquake...
aren't you?
i could hope to be a woman...
if i was a married man...
but i would never want
the sort of burden associated
with love / phobias...
to give life...
i would never want to love
like a woman...
to be able to fathom love
with it mingling with memory...

i am freed from having
to experience to love like a woman...
and if i'm to be subject to the burden
of life... just make sure i ingest
a tapeworm foetus...
i'll eat enough horseradish to shit
the bugger out...
but i will never want to want,
to want to love like a woman...
i don't want to love like a woman...
i'd sooner be found dead
than have to experience a love of a woman...

perhaps, just perhaps...
i'd be the most astounding mother...
while i also had a father...
perhaps i'd be petting a cat
differently... perhaps i'd be asking
for a dog without a leash...
but then i wouldn't be asking for a dog,
and a leash,
i'd be either asking for a dog...
or a leash...

she can give birth...
but i too can give birth to
shitting out a tapeworm...
she could have said:
caesarean section!
rather than...
and i ejaculated genocides
of sperm into tissue...
with a flush to echo echo echo...
and ate a thousand poultry
abortions for breakfast...

but i never want to love
like a woman loves without
memory or imagination,
without nostalgia...
i never want to love like a woman
loves...

i want to love like any man does...
i want to love from both the introspect
of tenderness and regret...
i want to love like any man is supposed
to love: i fucked up... i want to regress...
revise...
no woman thinks about revisions...
she did her bit... she gave birth...
but i don't want to love like a woman...
but aren't we all forthcoming for
an "afterlife"?

some afterlife that's to come!
i'm glad that i'm not a woman...
not because of the readied perks of social anaconda rules...
or that... i might give birth...
i'm glad that i'm a man because
i can love like a man...
and because...
i will never have to love like a woman.