From the start I was no good at schooling,
I zero'd in all maths and at games.
I had chilblains on fingers all winter
And my toes were exactly the same
I really had no forward thinking
Just discouraged and lonely and sad,
No one believed I could do things,
I was shy - I was odd - I was mad!
How I longed to be just like the others
But it wasn't allowed - not for me
I believed it for years I remember
I've believed it til now, so it seems!
But I know that I can't-
It's true that I shan't-
No! Honestly, I won't.-

But I may!
I was told I was no good at cooking,
So I made up my mind I would try
And I took an exam on the Theory
Yes - I passed- God only knows why!
Then came the business of Russian
With its alphabet funny and odd-
Then flying across the Atlantic
I could do all these things - on my Tod!
But my sex life was futile and hopeless
I was only fit company for fish!
I was told this so often, and loudly
I believed it, but I've now made a wish
I think that I should
If I'm made to, I would-
Oh, if only I could.

But I can!.