Funny Poems
Afternoon In School The Last Lesson
by David Herbert Lawrence
When will the bell ring, and end this weariness?
How long have they tugged the leash, and strained apart
My pack of unruly hounds: I cannot start
Them again on a quarry of knowledge they hate to hunt,
I can haul them and urge them no more.
No more can I endure to bear the brunt
Of the books that lie out on the desks: a full three score
Of several insults of blotted pages and scrawl
Of slovenly work that they have offered me.
I am sick, and tired more than any thrall
......
The Triantiwontigongolope
by Clarence Michael Dennis
There's a very funny insect that you do not often spy,
And it isn't quite a spider, and it isn't quite a fly;
It is something like a beetle, and a little like a bee,
But nothing like a wooly grub that climbs upon a tree.
Its name is quite a hard one, but you'll learn it soon, I hope.
So try:
Tri-
Tri-anti-wonti-
Triantiwontigongolope.
......
The Painted Ceiling
by Amy Lowell
My Grandpapa lives in a wonderful house
With a great many windows and doors,
There are stairs that go up, and stairs that go down,
And such beautiful, slippery floors.
But of all of the rooms, even mother's and mine,
And the bookroom, and parlour and all,
I like the green dining-room so much the best
Because of its ceiling and wall.
......
American Primitive
by William Jay Smith
Look at him there in his stovepipe hat,
His high-top shoes, and his handsome collar;
Only my Daddy could look like that,
And I love my Daddy like he loves his Dollar.
The screen door bangs, and it sounds so funny--
There he is in a shower of gold;
His pockets are stuffed with folding money,
His lips are blue, and his hands feel cold.
......
My Cousin's Choice
by Randy Johnson
A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an ugly green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
Ho doesn't regret his choice even though he's so ugly that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure dies hate the new.
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo
The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.
Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo
Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?
Gift
by Peter Quitadamo
Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.
Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo
My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.
What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart
Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear
And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat
And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine
And an Ox call Leon
......
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Clarence Michael Dennis (5 poems about Funny)
C. J. Dennis] (7 September 1876 - 22 June 1938 / Auburn, South Australia -
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