Funny Poems
American Primitive
by William Jay Smith
Look at him there in his stovepipe hat,
His high-top shoes, and his handsome collar;
Only my Daddy could look like that,
And I love my Daddy like he loves his Dollar.
The screen door bangs, and it sounds so funny--
There he is in a shower of gold;
His pockets are stuffed with folding money,
His lips are blue, and his hands feel cold.
......
CafÉ Comedy
by Robert William Service
She
I'm waiting for the man I hope to wed.
I've never seen him - that's the funny part.
I promised I would wear a rose of red,
Pinned on my coat above my fluttered heart,
So that he'd know me - a precaution wise,
Because I wrote him I was twenty-three,
And Oh such heaps and heaps of silly lies. . .
So when we meet what will he think of me?
......
Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money
by Pam Ayres
It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.
All up and down the country,
......
Afternoon In School The Last Lesson
by David Herbert Lawrence
When will the bell ring, and end this weariness?
How long have they tugged the leash, and strained apart
My pack of unruly hounds: I cannot start
Them again on a quarry of knowledge they hate to hunt,
I can haul them and urge them no more.
No more can I endure to bear the brunt
Of the books that lie out on the desks: a full three score
Of several insults of blotted pages and scrawl
Of slovenly work that they have offered me.
I am sick, and tired more than any thrall
......
There Was An Old Poop From Poughkeepsie
by John Updike
There was an old poop from Poughkeepsie,
Who tended, at night, to be tipsy.
Said he, ''My last steps
Aren't propelled by just Schweppes! '' -
That peppy old poop from Poughkeepsie.
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo
The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.
Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo
Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?
Gift
by Peter Quitadamo
Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.
Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo
My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.
What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart
Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear
And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat
And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine
And an Ox call Leon
......
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Clarence Michael Dennis (5 poems about Funny)
C. J. Dennis] (7 September 1876 - 22 June 1938 / Auburn, South Australia -
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