isolated in self-doubt,
relishing the pain of insecurity,
at least i feel something.
indulging nicotine,
like a bladed fidget,
just to escape.
fleeing from freedom,
refuge in the familiar toxicity.
scared to fight for myself,
because what if the voice is right,
and i never realise my ambition?
the fear of finding myself in you,
disappointment and anxiety,
marianne.