The days before Christmas were blue
with crispy air too shallow,
I couldn’t think in anything but gray.
nights at national were terrifying
in a way that made me know
I was alive.
a psychiatric hold
turned into 3 hospitals too many.
of course this wasn’t my first go
around but it would be my last.
like a puzzle with the wrong pieces
i never quite fit.
so i fasted, i smoked cigarettes
and i waited. Then i went home
with a few extra pills.