I used to think like it was a past time, occupied by every thought. Unaware that I was even thinking, chained to this god dam curse.

Would feel the pain of others take it on as if its mine, allow gravity to dissolve me and bend me how it likes. Dense feelings of ugliness fighting to find my worth. Find comfort in the shallow things to justify my worth.

Try to numb the chattering the dark voices in my head, but nothing will silence them. I fear not even death.

Keep fighting…fought back the tides that carried me to my watery grave. Need release from the rip but no one comes to my aid.

But still over all the noise that vibrates in my head. There is this yearning begging to be fed.

Why do I wait for the help? Why can I not see, the truth of who I want to be, is already inside of me.

Lift the veil that hides me from my truth, that egotistical monster who wasted my youth.

For once my eyes are open then I will see, that all that has happened is how it is meant to be.

Keep fighting…Fought back the tides that carried me to my watery grave. Need release from the rip but no one comes to my aid.

Now I see it all makes sense, the cause of my pain stemmed from my own ignorance. For I am the creator of my path, I’m the divine spark that ignites my heart.

The voices tell me I’m not worth it…you’re just a waste of space, but my heart I feel it speaking to me I feel a glow upon my face.

No longer live within my head nor trust the words that it has said. To live so dense, to be so dark, to feel so heavy such a sad heart.

Keep fighting…Fought Back the tides that carried me to my watery grave. Need release from the rip but no one comes to my aid.

Wait no more it’s up to me I am the creator of my reality. I am the Saviour I am the White Horse. I am the one to pull my ship back on course.

The life I have lived was manifested by me and yes, I admit it was done so innocently. But now I know better no veil over my eyes.

No more feeding myself toxic lies. I have the power it’s always been, how I choose to wield it is up to me.

Live in awareness of all my thoughts watch what I say and how I talk. For my words hold meaning and carry worth. My emotion is strong and from it stems new birth.

Keep fighting…fought back the tides that carried me to my water grave. Need release from the rip but no one comes to my aid.

Feed myself love that I know I deserve see the truth of my worth. For hidden from me behind the veil was my true self, my spirt, my light, my spark. that piece of me now out of the dark.

But grateful to the darkness am I for without it I would not be found. Thank you, darkness, for all you taught. For now, I have freedom and my own internal torch.

Joanne Lee Macdermott