I was hoping to be happy by seventeen.
School was a sharp check mark in the roll book,
An obnoxious tuba playing at noon because our team
Was going to win at night. The teachers were
Too close to dying to understand. The hallways
Stank of poor grades and unwashed hair. Thus,
A friend and I sat watching the water on Saturday,
Neither of us talking much, just warming ourselves
By hurling large rocks at the dusty ground
And feeling awful because San Francisco was a postcard
......
When Mother divorced you, we were glad. She took it and
took it in silence, all those years and then
kicked you out, suddenly, and her
kids loved it. Then you were fired, and we
grinned inside, the way people grinned when
Nixon's helicopter lifted off the South
Lawn for the last time. We were tickled
to think of your office taken away,
your secretaries taken away,
your lunches with three double bourbons,
......
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
......
1.
Oh yes, friend! I'm crazy-
that's just the way I am.
2.
I see sounds,
I hear sights,
I taste smells,
I touch not heaven but things from the underworld,
things people do not believe exist,
......
It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
......
Searing blades full of thunder,
Helping tear the world asunder,
Bleeding truth of guile and fear,
Raucous voices emit a cheer.
Bring again the word of dark,
Preying demons soon embark,
Stalk the innocent, selfless lives,
As light must flee so darkness thrives.
......
There is a beast,
that lives within.
In every man,
promotes a sin.
You hear his whisper,
from deep within.
Inside your brain.
under your skin.
He looks around,
......
I can hear the cars passing down below
The lights light up the street
I can feel the wind blowing on my face
I doubt anyone is looking for me
I am drowning in my own fear
I just want to be free
I am stuck in my body, waiting to be free
There are kids skipping on the pavement below
I’m so scared, I’m overflowed in my own fear
I can see every person, every dog, every cat walking on the street
......
Slobber on his shovel; this old man shits nothing.
Naked and shaking; his begging lips crack.
He swallows his honey, swinging his lanterns;
but piercing his darkness: two button eyes –
rimmed golden; reflections of want glazing his jowl.
His shadows birth those dregs swallowed.
Hounding sweet truth, his lanterns in hand.
Shine they do not, but gulp and lick that
waste remaining; unknown, still crunching.
......
Against ribs, three valvate knots press
mountains under skin. Sundered kin,
bound lights swim in fountains found
within. Hollowed skies, mirrored blood.
Love is true, dipped in mud.
Sea-sunk eyes, nothing deeper.
Seek out birth, cut through ether.
Essence, still, solvate crust.
Diamonds wear; remnant pus.
Aeons spent, luring flies.
......