A Ladies Night was in the offing
Dale Carnegie men would be there,
The plans were carefully completed
The scenery, the oomph and the glare.

They seated the guests 'long the sidewalls
An altar 'long the end of the aisle,
They carried in boxes and bunting
A shot gun and anything in style.

They tied a pillow in front now
And slipped a big dress o'er my head,
Stuffed papers to fill up the soft spots
And painted my lips very Red.

Got two cakes of Gum that I chewed on
And a Lacy Head Piece, don't you see?
Turned me loose with three drooping Roses
While some girl sang Mother McCree.

I chewed that old Gum with a bubble
It got mixed with that Lipstick and all,
Kept walking down towards the preacher
While the guests were having a Ball.

Lion George Eastin, he was the preacher
If you know George, he's alive as a pup.
After prayer, he said, "Be no Wedding".
Cause the Groom, He didn't show up.