The moment I saw you on the Serco van
I instantly knew you were my man
I just couldn't take my eyes off you
Momentarily forgetting I had a job to do
It was lust, love and infatuation there and then
A man like you was a god amongst all men
Tingling sensations went up and down my spine
I swore to do anything to make you mine

I became a prison officer about ten years ago
This was after months of searching high and low
For that elusive dream job in a television station
Yes TV presenting was my true my vocation
But sadly this job never seemed to materialise
Then the penny dropped and I came to realise
That in life after you have searched everywhere
You take and make the best of whatever is there

The job was advertised at the local job centre
It was a profession I knew I could enter
The job requirements were not much I have to say
And the pay and perks were just about okay
The interview and fitness test were a breeze
I passed every question with consummate ease
Then we newbies were given our official start date
Each of us oblivious to the fickle finger of fate.

I was stationed at a prison in south London
My family congratulated me "Well done!"
In my new career they wished me all the best
Mom and dad telling me to reach for the crest
All my siblings were also rooting for me
Encouraging me to be the best I could be,
And as I wore my uniform with pride
My mom and dad became teary eyed

I have to say my first few weeks at work were daunting
The memories of those early days I still find haunting
We were thrown in at the deep end to sink or swim
In a prison regime that could change on a whim
Sensing our naivety the prisoners gave us the runaround,
For assistance the senior officers were nowhere to be found
The way we were treated back then was foul
Sad to say, quite a few officers simply threw in the towel

As the years came and went by I went up a grade
This was with hard work not through anyone's aid
I was put in charge of one of the big wings
To supervise, delegate and run things
And I made sure my authority was writ large
Letting everyone know that I was in charge
I was strict and incorruptible or so I thought
But with hidden potholes life is fraught

And it all started when I saw that hunk of a man
Sitting in handcuffs on the Serco van
I had gone to see how many prisoners on board
And when I saw him I was completely floored
He was raw muscles from head to toe
Chiselled jaw, moustache and a short afro
As a white woman I had never dated out of my race
But on this occasion you could see the blushes on my face

Never has a man had such an impact on me
Especially a man who was under lock and key
A man guilty of manslaughter
A criminal of the first water
A man who I can confirm
Was serving a seven year jail term
This man awoke in me a sexual desire
Much hotter than the flames of hellfire.

In terms of looks I was just a plain Jane
But from then on I went to lengths and pain
To work on my appearance big time
Daily I scrubbed off blackheads, spots and grime
I wore eye shadow, rouge, lipstick and a lavish smile
Then I cut my hair in a becoming style
My confidence shot through the ceiling
Oh how I sang Marvin Gaye's sexual healing!

With my influence I made them bring
Prisoner Tyrone Wilson onto my wing
And I immediately put him on an ACCT
To be monitored half hourly to be exact
I made up a story about him mentioning suicide
And that he was emotional and teary eyed
But it was all a big fat lie
It was my excuse to see him on the sly

Oh yes I have to disclose
That I really did get close
Whenever Tyrone pressed his cell bell
I responded like a bat straight out of hell
Ready to get him anything he asked for
And I personally brought it to his cell door
Handing it over with a wink and a smile
I was more than ready to go the extra mile

Soon he began to speak double entendre with me
He'll say "Ooh glad you have me under lock and key"
Or "Come to my cell and watch me do hard time
I'll show a lady like you that I'm still in my prime."
One officer even accused him of going too far
When he heard Tyrone appraising my push-up bra!
Feigning anger I swore to give Tyrone a Red entry
But secretly gave a Green which was complementary.

Seeing how much I was caring
Tyrone challenged me to be more daring
He said "Baby get me a phone and sim card"
Honest to God this request caught me off guard
I refused at first but I didn't want to lose this man
So after some deep thinking I thought up a plan
I bought, hid a phone and sim in my push up bra
The search team never ever look that far.

His sweat soaked boxer shorts was my reward from him
Giving to me after he literally finished from the gym
After months of hanky-panky Tyrone could now tell
Just how much I loved his manly sweat and smell
And the smell of this man was raw and strong
I could marinate in it all day long
In fact I have his boxer shorts to this very day
I would never dream of throwing them away

As the months went by we continued to flirt
And I let him finger me whenever I wore a skirt
Into his cell I've sneaked to perform a sex act
I've done this a couple of times and that's a fact
Ours was a genuine man to woman love affair
And I saw it in his eyes that he really did care
But unbeknownst to us rumours had begun to fly
The beginning of the end was drawing nigh

Apparently I had been under investigation for while
My fellow officers had spied on me with guile
And they had gathered evidence to use against me
Security also had footage of me on CCTV.
They seized all the dirty letters we'd written
Evidence that I was indeed a woman smitten.
They found my knickers that I had given to Tyrone
And saw naked pictures of myself on his phone
No doubt about it I was chagrined,
Chagrined that I had thrown caution to the wind.

The police arrested me in broad day light
With prisoners and my fellow officers in full sight
From the corner of my eye I saw Tyrone standing there
Tears in his eyes, this was too much for him to bear
In handcuffs the police and Governors led me away
But before I walked, I turned, looked at him and did say
"Tyrone when you get released, I pray that you do,
I swear on my son's life I will be waiting for you"