She stares at the glare on her phone
its bright, white light sinks deep down into her eye bags
the bodys and faces of others dance across her screen
She winces as she looks away
letting the dark morning take over
the most daunting part of the day has started
She humbly walks over to the mirror just to glance away at an instant
she lets the cool substance of blush, bronzer, and mascara
hide her inferior child, hide the words of others, and most importantly herself
People always ask her who she’s trying to impress
she shakes it off as she tell them she has a boyfriend
but I think deep down she knows it's more than that
it was her self worth
it was his friends
it was her life
meeting the standards to a scale unachievable
a scale that no one set up for her
but only her herself
She walks around school only to catch sight of others
the scale unbeatable stares her down in the middle of the hallway
and then she begins to wonder, why had he chosen her
Every class that she has with his friends, she knows to be funny
she knows to dress up
she knows to douse her face in the sticky, powdery substances that now represented herself
but not because she wants them
but because she wants his friends to tell him she was worth it
She needed the reliance of many, more than the reliance of one
one person could lie so easily
they could say she met that scale,
but when the unmeasurable girls come marching down the hallway
One opinion doesn't matter
She needed compliments from everyone she saw
she needed to stick out in a crowd
she needed EVERYONE to think she was pretty
because then she knew when he said he loved her, it would be undeniable
she would be confident in the fact that it was true
because she already had that assurance from everyone she knew
but as that girl stands in the mirror
And looks at her body, her hair, her face
she knows not everyone would think that
and how could they?
For she knew that on the standard scale that she had created
she had created the unachievable
but she didn't see it that way
so each day she woke up and decided to try again
hoping one day, maybe she would meet everyone’s standards
But this girl will be deeply sorrowed to hear that,
that day will never come