Legs bouncing
hands shaking
I feel my hair stick up on my legs and arms
this cold feeling of my adolescence fades
and the warm morning glaze of new horizons washes over me
all the things I used to love
The teddy bear that still sleeps next to me at night
waking up without caring
fearing
longing for that smell of sterile school air
Getting excited to wake up
and pick out an outfit that clearly didn't match
But these feelings have faded
traveled south
flown away with the same chirps from the birds that woke me up on those old spring mornings
this sinking feeling grows in my stomach
leaving me nauseous
trembling
the same way my legs and hands do
and no medicine I take seems to be fixing it
I think back to those same simpler times that have migrated away
That stupid bubblegum cough syrup
sticky and too saturated
the one that would linger on my tongue
its sticky residue would dance along my throat
I never would’ve thought I wanted those sticky, silly, bubblegum days back
But as i stand at the medicine cabinet
and the old bottle of cough syrup stares back at me
I know no medicine will fix me
So I crawl back to my bed
and hug my teddy bear close to my chest
the same teddy bear I used to hold
and suddenly the stick, silly, bubblegum feeling comes back
I think i'll let it stay for a while
i'm not sure if it’ll heal my throat
but it will at least heal my heart