"Look! One guy admitted
that he's scared of death!" -
he pointed at me
a certain wise-guy with an unusual glint in his eye.
I suppose it could have been glasses.

These days they like to ask me in public
about the most intimate things.
For example, my greatest sin.
What I dreamt of from Wednesday to Friday.
If I'm happy with the leaders of the country.
If I would like to be the conscience of the nation.
And what I'm scared of.

I usually answer
as best I can.
When the conversation is accompanied by a drink, or after one,
much more openly. When
sober - in a mercurial
and capricious way. Usually.

This time I said
I was scared of the death
of those close to me.
Mainly through accidents.
Although really, our life is long
as a song about Dovbush and death should be seen
as a resolution
long awaited, because you became tired of singing.

But most important when quoting -
is putting the full stop in the right place,
which the wise-guy
still remembers from his masters.
And, putting the full stop where he pleases, he justifies himself as best he can:
"He admitted it! Look everybody, look at his
terror!"

No, I am really not scared to say what I'm scared of.
Yes, I am really scared of the phone ringing in the night
and emails with sad news in the subject line.
Look, everybody, look at my terror:
this is how afraid I am.

But apart from that, it is just a song,
a gorgeous, long song about the way to the abyss
or, and no less beautiful, let's say,
about a bullet in the head.