The humble Petition of the Left Foot in Favour of the Right.
The Doctor, which makes my heart ache, has just said--
'That I must, for three days, be confin'd to my bed;
Must rest till 'tis night, and from night till 'tis noon;
Because, from a blister, I'm quite out of tune.'

If on me, the left foot, you shall vend forth your spite,
Then pray tell me how it will fare with the right.
We're closely connected in Friendship's strong band;
As your right or left eye--or the spoon in your hand;
Attend on each other, and have such regard,
We are rarely discover'd asunder a yard.
You can't, if this critical case you pursue,
Commit one to prison, but must commit two;
Then justice and honour, and order, must end,
If ever you punish a man for his friend.
Besides, this grand maxim, from Ethics, we offer,
That the innocent ne'er for the guilty should suffer.

Let the right foot, my peaceable brother, go free,
And then you may do what's your pleasure with me.
When that, unmolested, pursues its own way,
Your humble Petitioner shall ever pray.