Deep down inside she has still not accepted ,
that guys would never look at her
the way they look at GIRLS.
Those girls with the eyes ,with the hair
with the nose
This is not something that was an option ,it wasn’t something she chose .
She consoled her friend when her friend was insecure ,
like some girl who has it all figured out
But no one knows that insecurity is something she has never lived without .
Its not enough ,her friends calling her pretty ,
because she knows its all just politeness.
She said you look nice ,
the other replies with the same ,
as if that would suffice .
She thinks she looks pretty when she looks into the mirror for a second
but then it all just disappears when she stares at herself for more
She felt prettier a few seconds before .
She stares into the mirror for more than a second
and everything hits her,
everything that she thinks is wrong about her
But it ends up being just a blur .
Its been quite a few years
and she has learned to live with it .
She knows her ‘feeling pretty’ wont last for long
Because today or tomorrow there will be something about her that she thinks is wrong .
How weird is it that she is not enough for herself ,
Learn to love yourself first before you start loving someone else .
That is what they said
I wish they would just tell people about the other side of the story instead
The side that is still not healed,
The side that is still kept concealed .
They do not have it figured neither does she .
But for how long is this going to last ?
She is waiting for the moment she would get to call this her past .
Nobody can see
But she still feels the same .
She is me
I am she .