We've hed sec a durdum at Gobbleston parish,
For twonty lang years there's nit been sec a fair;
We'd slack reape, and tight reape, and dogs that wer dancin,
Wi' leytle roun hats on to gar the fwok stare:
A leytle black messet danc'd sae leyke auld Jenny,
I thought it wad niver run out o' my head;
It was last thing at neet, and the first i' the mworning,
And I rwoar'd leyke a fuil as I laid i' my bed!

And we had stage playing, and actors frae Lunnon,
At hed sec a canny and bonny leyke say;
I forgat the black messet, and gowl'd leyke a ninny,
Tho' I said to mysel, ''Wey, its nobbet a play!''
But aw that was naething, for mony wer blinded,
And Jemmy, that brags aw the town for a feght,
He twistet and twirlt--it was just for an off--put,
But aw wadn't dui, for he gowl'd hawf the neet.

And Betty Mac Nippen, and five of her dowters,
As feyne as May garlans, were clwose at my back;
I was flayt they wad hinder fwok hear aw the speeching,
But they gowl'd sec a guid'n, that nin o' them spak:
And Betty hes heard frae her sister in Lunnon,
And she's sent the bairns sec a mwort o' feyne things,
That if Betty Mac Nippen wad mek tem stage players,
She cud fit tem out, ay leyke queens or leyke kings.

Then down--the--brow Wully tuik up his cwoat lappet,
And held til his een, for he's given to jeer;
But I had it frae yen that was even fornenst him,
'Twas weel for his sel his cwoat lappet was near.
Oh--Venus perserv'd was the neame o' the actin,
And Jaffer was him hed the beautiful weyfe;
Tho' I gowl'd aw the teyme, it's a wonder to tell on't,
I niver was hawf sae weel pleas'd i' my leyfe!