Tic in my jaw has slackened.
I'm high on feverfew.
I'd sleep, but in my dreams I'm black and blue.

I put a detective on you
To find out where you went.
Said he found your bus ticket by the monument.

'I got it here in my satchel.
Then I traced her to the door
She entered with an eligible bachelor.

Had to peek in through the transom
Just to make sure it was her.'
And him? 'You're handsome. He was handsomer.'

Well, you used to live in Sweden.
You can play bridge and whist.
I might have known you would prove a hedonist.

Me, I'm out of date as Pliny
Or a two-string guitar.
The world's postmodern and nonlinear.

I read of the strange attractor,
Wondered who that might be,
Thinking of you all day at the factory.

Oh, I'm desperate and I'm livid,
I need something to spend.
The boss's already blown my dividend.

I asked the bishop one day
If you'd broken the golden rule.
He said, 'I don't know you from Sunday school.'

Saw my lawyer for a second
Opinion. He says I'm right -
I think; his talk can be so recondite.

I feel so drained and puny,
Should book myself a hearse.
You couldn't look better if you were Miss Universe.

Now the ship's pulling up its anchor
And the dockside's full of grief.
Had to give away my second-best handkerchief.

The air is supersonic.
My head is slow as wool.
I seem to be someone else in the chronicle.

Sun reignites in the water
Flames the firemen douse.
The sky is redder than a slaughterhouse.

Now that's got to mean disaster.
Let me quote the chief of police:
'Confusion now hath made his masterpiece.'