The day you up and left was a confusing one
I thought a miracle would come to change your ways
And become the mother you were supposed to be
That you would have been there to wash my fears away
Support me in highs and have fun on boring days
Magically my hopes vanished and so did you

I know I can be bossy and overbearing
And you claim I act like a stupid mother but
The only reason I have played the role of mom
is because you have spent afternoons high and drunk
Someone had to be there and take care of the kids
And so that wonderful person had to be me

I have tried to have your back and be there for you
I cleaned up your vomit after late nights at bars
I was only trying to protect the kids when
I told the kids to go and hide in their bedrooms
I did not think it was good for them to hear you
Screaming those awful names, like I was the bad dog
leaving me emotionally damaged and scarred
Or beating me to a pulp with a belt and club

Evil laughs echos as I painfully struggle
How come you find such pleasure in my brutal pain
Why were you always so mean, why did you hurt me
Why, I question, why? You left me mentally scared
I don't think that I could ever love anyone
You can't abuse me now, so why do I miss you

You broke promises like picking me up at school
Or helping me put on makeup for the first time
You won't be at my wedding or graduation
Or have the awkward talk about the birds and bees
You have left me to figure things out all alone
You have given me no guidance at all in life

You left me alone, stripped bare with nowhere to turn
Turning to old habits, mental health relapses
I think that maybe this was the final reason
But I hide it well, If you knew how many times
I've attempted suicide, or the times I cut
But you don't believe me, Why did I ever try

I'm laying on the bathroom floor wildly sobbing
I pray you find peace and complete sobriety
Cause I could have never made you happy or pleased
I could never do the right thing or be your doll
I was in the way, an overwhelming burden
I hope that without me, you find your happiness

I now realize that this was all my damn fault
I was always in the way and making mistakes
I was never good enough, below your standard
I was the biggest disappointment in your life
I am sorry for everything I ever did

I'm sorry that I waste a decade of your life
And that I have made you sad and miserable.
I tried, I promise I tried, I gave it my all
I went out of my way to prove my worth to you
I tried to make you like me, just a little bit

I can't be in the same room or even the house
Without the fear that you were going to hurt me
Or looking over my shoulder, afraid of you
I realize now all your empty promises
And how you have abandoned me to not come back