How could you ever understand
where I came from
Even if you ask
Even if you listen
You don’t really hear, see or feel
You don’t remember my story
You haven’t walked my path
You haven’t seen what I’ve seen
My past defines me
This is who I am
I am unseen unheard, unwanted
That is if I’m anything at all
It seems like the same things that held me down
Forced me down
In a world turned upside down
and order disappeared
Nothing was how it's supposed to be
And a heavy sadness filled my soul
Deeper and deeper I fell within myself
And nothing could show me out
Trapped in the misery of my life
Lost in the sorrow of my soul
Unable to see the light
Unable to see at dawn
To feel To hope To dream
I found the darkest days of my life kept coming
The blackest night for me never stopper
It seemed it was always nighttime and nightmares
And never morning
And maybe you wonder why
but mostly you don’t think about it
And you try and get by and you try to survive
And all other stuff seems so much alive
Nothing compared to important things like
wishing to see your mother smile
And sing her favorite song
I know I’m helpless dependant and desperate
But what happens when those you need the most
threaten your very existence
I’ve heard plenty of promises
And they all sound the same
But push hard enough sooner or later
They all prove to be empty
The sun comes up every morning
But do you know where
Each place it’s somewhere different
It's hard to find east when you
Keep moving around
But at least it comes
I’ve become dependant on that
And slowly the seasons change around me
And it seems this time the world
Won’t be pulled out from under me again
Root starting to grow
Little buds of hope for me
Slowly attempting to trust this new life
I wish someone would tell me it would be okay
That one day maybe
I’ll feel normal
That I won’t always be alone
That I’ll have a mom who will hug me
And be strong for me
Because maybe I can’t do it all by myself
This is my past, my history, my story
And it doesn’t define my future.