Sometimes someone hurts you so badly
It stops the hurting, pain, sadness and all
Until something makes you feel once again
Then it all comes back like a bouncing ball

Every word, every hurt, every moment
You were the lion and I was your prey
I remember in the greatest detail
I feel as though it was just yesterday

How your footsteps echoed in the hall
The smell of alcohol on your breath
The loud squeaking of my bedroom door
How I felt I was so close to death

How my thoughts race like flashing silver bullets
Adrenaline pumped like a spreading cancer
I silently pray that he will go away
But sadly my prayers are never answered

I know what's to come and it's worse than death
Daddy, please don't, I'll do whatever you say
You sharply whisper to shut the hell up
One more whimper or grandmother will pay

Then he is climbing on top of my bed
A dirty hand slips beneath the cover
He causes some pain, it's part of his game
But I swear I will never recover

He pushes his body on me
And you can guess the rest
He becomes my worst nightmare
My heart beats out of my chest

The time you take passes so slowly
Was this your sick idea of fun
I lie there awake for countless hours
Thinking about the damage he's done

In the morning I sit to eat my cereal
Pretend it's not him at the head of the table
How can you sit there so innocently and smile
You left me so emotionally unstable

You told me to be silent, I had to promise I would
You had a way to make me feel so tiny and so small
You told me it was my fault, I deserved every minute
But I never wanted to be my daddy's little doll

This is not a cry for help, this is not fake
But as I grow older I question things
Was it my fault for his deadly games
Why do I bow to him like a saintly king

These memories haunt my brain
Still feel I'm the one to blame
I am just a waste of space
I will never be the same

You were supposed to be my father
Instead, you tore me down to the ground
Walked all over me and left me but
I won't forget how you pushed me around

The people that we should love
The ones who taught us to fly
Are the ones who broke our wings
And left us questioning why

I still see you in the shadows
I still feel your grip on my wrists
I still dream of running from you
I feel as though I shouldn't exist

You have left your filthy presences on me
I will carry the baggage and all the shame
And I will never forget having to play
My daddy's dirty little games