Today this cause came to be heard
On bill, process and proof;
Averments usual, form and word,
Prolixity forsooth.
John Marshall was complainant's name,
Carrie, his wife, defendant,
He charged as being wanton dame,
To lecher rake intendant.
For Carrie loud they called by rote,
The 'Oyez! oyez! oyez,
Come into court, come into court,
Or you'll be barred, oyez.'
If Carrie heard, she heeded not,
Default she wholly made,
And John has still a spouseless cot,
If not a buxom maid
And having heard what was averred
Of Carrie's wanton acts,
And finding she had not demurred,
The Court reviewed the facts.
These marriage ties, the Court believes,
Have grown so lax, corrupt,
It should and does by fit decrees,
Break all the nuptials up.
We find the process good and true,
With regular procedure;
And on the whole there comes to view
The proofs the facts concede you.
Unquestioned those, efficient these,
All costs and fees enforced,
The Court now orders and decrees
John Marshall is divorced.
Done in the merry month of May,
Year nineteen hundred 'leven,
And if you would exact the day,
Know you 'tis twenty-seven.