They took away your drink from you,
The kind old humanizing glass;
Soon they will take tobacco too,
And next they'll take our demi-tasse.
Don't say, 'The bill will never pass,'
Nor this my warning word disdain;
You said it once, you silly ass--
Don't make the same mistake again.

We know them now, the bloodless crew,
We know them all too well, alas!
There's nothing that they wouldn't do
To make the world a Bible class;
Though against bottled beer or Bass
I search the sacred text in vain
To find a whisper--by the Mass!
Don't make the same mistake again.

Beware these legislators blue,
Pouring their moral poison-gas
On all the joys our fathers knew;
The very flowers in the grass
Are safe no more, and, lad and lass,
'Ware the old birch-rod and the cane!
Here comes our modern Hudibras!--
Don't make the same mistake again.
ENVOI

Prince, vanished is the rail of brass,
So mark me well and my refrain--
Tobacco next! you silly ass,
Don't make the same mistake again.