(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM)

It happened last February and it was stupid of me to do it.
I put my wiener on a railroad track and it froze to it.
A train was coming and the engineer didn't even use the brakes.
The train ran over my wiener and flattened it like a pancake.
When it got flattened, it was hard.
Now I use it to open doors like a credit card.
That train ruined my love life and I didn't deserve that.
When it comes to peckers, women don't like them if they're flat.