Tw Poems
March 14, 2014
by Allyson Sirois
I felt important
under your gaze
like a girl worthy of your attention
even though I was younger
it felt like
the kind of night
that would change everything
the night when I would start to live
outside the strict boundaries
......
lying
by Hannah Woerner
I was asked a lot this week what I had done.
Where the cut on my arm came from, what I could have done to get it.
I didn't lie.
I kept the secrets inside but I didn't lie
I'm trying to stop lying
at least not about that
But when they ask about my day
when they ask if I'm okay
I can't stop lying yet, not about that
I'm trying to stop lying to let people in
......
Anger
by Hannah Woerner
I am so angry. I'm not sure why, but I am furious.
I will be walking down the hall and just want to smash my hand against the walls, until I can’t move it, until there’s more blood than flesh. I want it to hurt, I want it to hurt so much that it’s all I feel.
So I don’t get these flashes of debilitating sadness, of complete emptiness, or utter anguish.
I want physical pain, but I am too weak to do it to myself. I want someone to hurt me until I can’t feel anymore.
I want to bleed, to see the red run down my skin. I want to hurt.
Am I angry? I guess I can’t tell anymore. is it anger or something more. Is the root of it deeper, why do I care.
Why couldn’t I just do it. Now there are people watching, why did I fucking tell people.
I would have been fine, and if not I wouldn’t have to deal with it now. I didn’t do it so what’s it matter.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I want to scream I want to cry I want a fucking hug.
I want to talk to her but she’s so tired. I could just text her. I’m going to text her, but not tell her why. just to distract myself, maybe she’s asleep and then she won’t answer and then I don’t know.
......
scared
by Hannah Woerner
Its dark and Im scared again
Not of physical monsters
But of the ones in my head
The ones who rage the ones I thought maybe just maybe I made up for attention
But I was wrong and they are real and I am scared
I dont want to die I promise I really dont
......
March 14, 2014
by Allyson Sirois
I felt important
under your gaze
like a girl worthy of your attention
even though I was younger
it felt like
the kind of night
that would change everything
the night when I would start to live
outside the strict boundaries
......
scared
by Hannah Woerner
Its dark and Im scared again
Not of physical monsters
But of the ones in my head
The ones who rage the ones I thought maybe just maybe I made up for attention
But I was wrong and they are real and I am scared
I dont want to die I promise I really dont
......
Anger
by Hannah Woerner
I am so angry. I'm not sure why, but I am furious.
I will be walking down the hall and just want to smash my hand against the walls, until I can’t move it, until there’s more blood than flesh. I want it to hurt, I want it to hurt so much that it’s all I feel.
So I don’t get these flashes of debilitating sadness, of complete emptiness, or utter anguish.
I want physical pain, but I am too weak to do it to myself. I want someone to hurt me until I can’t feel anymore.
I want to bleed, to see the red run down my skin. I want to hurt.
Am I angry? I guess I can’t tell anymore. is it anger or something more. Is the root of it deeper, why do I care.
Why couldn’t I just do it. Now there are people watching, why did I fucking tell people.
I would have been fine, and if not I wouldn’t have to deal with it now. I didn’t do it so what’s it matter.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I want to scream I want to cry I want a fucking hug.
I want to talk to her but she’s so tired. I could just text her. I’m going to text her, but not tell her why. just to distract myself, maybe she’s asleep and then she won’t answer and then I don’t know.
......
lying
by Hannah Woerner
I was asked a lot this week what I had done.
Where the cut on my arm came from, what I could have done to get it.
I didn't lie.
I kept the secrets inside but I didn't lie
I'm trying to stop lying
at least not about that
But when they ask about my day
when they ask if I'm okay
I can't stop lying yet, not about that
I'm trying to stop lying to let people in
......
